Liquor Store

Tonight I went to the liquor store with my boyfriend. We haven’t really spoken in about three days. Last Tuesday we had a couples therapy session and it was not good. Not good at all. I was so angry and I lashed out a lot. Justifiably so, but it doesn’t make it any less harder.

It’s Friday’s night. I invited him over because even though I’m so angry and hurt over recent events, I feel like a piece of my heart is missing. We’re accustomed to communicating every single day.

We drank a few glasses of wine while watching one of my favorite shows from my teenhood: Teen Wolf. It’s a MTV show that I’m still in love with. I love all things paranormal. Vampires, werewolves, witches, fairies, everything. We ran to the liquor store and when we walked out with our three bottles a cute group of girls pulled up donning their “party outfits”. I quickly looked to the left of our blue Prius to admire the shiny white Tesla they arrived in.

I experienced a pang of longing and envy. In my slightly buzzed state I could tell they were attractive and excited for the weekend. I wished I had a group of girlfriends to party with on the weekends in a fancy car. This past year I have lost two friends. Betrayed by two friends is more accurate. It’s weird how people can show their true colors years down the line.

I stopped myself and veered into a new coping mechanism. A pep talk. I was having a positive experience with my boyfriend on a Friday night. In spite of being in couples therapy, I know that I care about this person and vice versa. I needed to relax and be present in my current situation instead of worrying about things that I don’t have.

Now we are in my kitchen sipping weird tasting wine and cooking scallops and asparagus. And truly, I appreciate nights like these. I’m not a huge party person and calm nights at home with loved ones are what I truly adore.

Even though my life often seems like it’s “less than”, if I take a pause and really reflect, there are meaningful moments and experiences. And those mean the world to me.

Published by TheLavenderWolf

I am a 27-year-old trudging through the perilous journey of healing myself from traumas from childhood to adulthood. This is the time of my resurgence.

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