Why am I blogging publicly, rather than keeping everything in my journals?
By putting these written experiences online, my diaries have purpose. I’m breathing new life into my experiences. I am taking back the narrative of my life. No one can control me anymore, not my parents, not God, not significant others, just me. My words on paper are continuing to have my back, to be a constant tool for my use, to learn, self-reflect, and to forge a new path.
Some topics I will write about are growing up with strict, authoritarian, religious, conservative parents; how I coped with life through dance and theatre, adolescence, family relations, abusive significant others, sexuality, depression, anxiety, trauma, abuse, and my transition into a polyamorous lifestyle.
Each time I write my experiences or share them with someone I trust, it allows me some catharsis as well as insight into myself and the world around me. It allows me to heal little by little.
I am not seeking pity for the trials I’ve endured. Writing is a liberating experience for me. If there are others like me who are writers, fighters, and pushing towards a better self, better life, a better existence, I welcome the connection.
I am now 26 years old and it wasn’t until a few years ago that I started to become my own person. The majority of my life, I lived accordingly to what I thought others wanted or needed. I had to learn to put myself first and ask myself what I really wanted. It’s not easy when your past seeps it’s way into the present, tangling itself in your thoughts and dreams. But I have continued to slowly sever the ties. Freedom, is on the horizon.
